Inertia.
weighs so heavily
on the mind

Heftiness.
like an anchor grave
in the heart.

Fragile.
the dream that almost
comes to life.

No.
Not this flavourless.
Nevermore.

secret souls suffocate.

I hurt.

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

Jo and I had an interesting conversation. I think that when we offer our love to someone precious and special to us, we unwittingly give a part of ourselves away. That part we can never possess it again; freely and consciously given yet beyond our faculties and will to take it back. What remains recreates you, changes your character; forms an entirely new individual. It takes so much to do that, a risk and a chance of such unchangeable quality that it almost always entails some hurt, some joy, some sorrow, some ephemeral perfection.

Perhaps many years later we'd find someone more compatible and charming, surpassing previous loves in intellect and grace among favorable attributes. And yet I'd surmise that their place in our hearts will never be compromised. The ones who got away, those almost lovers, memories of which retain the power to summon sharp pinpricks in the heart and lingering torn emotion, they will always be special and unforgettable because we had chosen them to be, because we have loved and continue to hold them dear.

Forever and a day. 

SWOONS. HAHAHAH :D

 

Wednesday night was pretty damn awesome, to say the least! You can't argue with free entry into zouk+flaming lamborghinis+barcardi+groovy music all under 30 dollars :D (and that's including the ride home too! Thanks Elliot!) It was one swell night hahaha :D

For all my ambivalence about going to a club and rubbing bodies with perspiring half drunk strangers whom you never know might decide to puke, I certainly was quite happy after 5 glasses. Not drunk; but tipsy enough to be happy (: And Nigel taught Iddie Aaron and I almost everything from dance moves to keeping safe to taking care of yourself when drinking HAHA. Good to have more experienced people looking after you (especially on my first time)! I don't quite take to the boom boom boom music I imagine clubs play, but mambo leans closer to the Gold 90FM-on-surround-sound side which is okay! Plus, I think the dance moves were awesome :D

Quite an amazing night which we ended at Meng's; the auntie must be wondering what 8 happy people were doing stumbling into her shop at 5am hahaha. But I think going to clubs is the kind of thing that's more enjoyable when you go once in a while, and the company counts too heh (:  Besides, it's expensive lah!

Love this, it makes me feel happy inside :D